The Ukrainian president told Europe to "wake up" to the threat of Putin and urged "anybody who knows the word Chernobyl" to help prevent another nuclear disaster on the continent.
Lavrov accused the US of seeking to bring “the whole of Europe” under control, like Hitler and Napoleon.
A number of Ukrainians have reportedly been turned away at the border because of the UK's strict approach.
The satirical news site has announced Vladimir Putin's engagement to the president of Belarus, among other things.
"As if Abramovich didn’t have enough PR problems, he’s now getting compliments from John Terry," one person wrote on Twitter.
It took eight police officers to bundle Yelena Osipova, 77, away for protesting Putin's war in Ukraine.
Only five voted against the motion, and you can probably guess who they are.
“No worries, I’ll just wait for my internet to come back on after the latest missile strikes to get that all important online application filled in," one UK lawyer said.
The government are struggling to find "reasonable grounds" for hitting Abramovich and others with sanctions.