Satire

Temporary “Uber relief” shelters set up on Silicon Roundabout

Temporary “Uber relief” shelters have been set up on Silicon Roundabout amid reports that media and tech professionals have been found getting into random cars and just shouting destinations at their drivers.

With Uber set to have its London licence revoked in just over a week’s time the shelters have been erected for young workers who are unable to find their way home on public transport and cannot work “black cabs”.

One London cabby said he stood stationary for ten minutes with a punter in the back as he tried to drop a pin.

Other city-workers have reported a zombie apocalypse-like event as swathes of lost people with ripped jeans wonder aimlessly along the streets with their heads in their phones.

Uber addict Jenny Smith has described this as a “humanitarian crisis of epic proportions” after being left standing outside her office without being promptly collected.

She said: “‘I’ve never known anything like it.

“I was just stood there waiting for a Prius to turn up and nothing happened. Several other vehicles went past including one big red vehicle that had two floors, but none of them seemed to recognise my location on the map.”

The relief shelters will be provide bottled water and fizzy drinks for Uber Executive users.

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Jack Peat

Jack is a business and economics journalist and the founder of The London Economic (TLE). He has contributed articles to VICE, Huffington Post and Independent and is a published author. Jack read History at the University of Wales, Bangor and has a Masters in Journalism from the University of Newcastle-upon-Tyne.

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