Satire

School children across the UK are celebrating that they can eat chips, loads of chips without having awful lettuce, cabbage, and courgettes stuffed into their gobs, due to a shortage from the EU. Tom, 7, from Aldershot has been snap chatting his mates pictures of chips, just loads and loads of chips, who have returned the favour. He said: "I over the fucking moon about this, I love the EU." Sarah, 8, said: “My Dad hates Europeans but my teacher...

Paul Chalmers, 37 from Romford, has been labelling Satire articles fake news all over Facebook, because he heard Donald Trump mention it, while the US President was actually sharing fake news (ok alternative facts) with the world. An article with a headline that read “Emperor Trump holds first interview for Sith Lord apprentice” and was labelled ‘satire’ in the comments above article, over the article picture, and was also used as the name of the contributor. He wrote: “leftard fake...

By Tom Moore Theresa May has today claimed she did not challenge Donald Trump over his controversial travel ban as she thought it was only in relation to a particular type of cotton cloth. May told the commons she thought the controversial president had said ‘muslin’ and not ‘muslim’ and would have certainly made her feelings clear if she had known the true nature of the order. “I did think it was a bit weird” she told the House at...

Theresa May has come under increasing pressure today after not only failing to condemn the use of torture and the controversial travel ban, but somehow agreeing to foot the bill for Trump’s proposed Mexican border wall. Tory MPs were warning May not to make too many concessions as she raced to become the first international leader to meet the new President. It was believed the meeting had been a success after Trump had adopted a more reasonable stance in the...

‘Are we living in Nazi Germany?’ Trump asks his supporters at his latest rally in Nuremberg. The leader of the Blurred Right is still angry about a recently leaked document which he believes came from his own intelligence agencies. Despite heavy criticism Trump stood by his comments, later reiterating his comparison to Nazi Germany: “This is something that Nazi Germany would have done and did do” Trump said from his Zepplin, Air Force Ein. Many commentators noted the irony of...

Emperor Donald Trump has had a busy week preparing for his first Sith Lord Apprentice interview. Always one for meticulous preparation, the Supreme Chancellor spent the week praising torture, denying inalienable rights to millions of women and destroying the home land of his native nationals. The first candidate to put herself forward for the position of Sith Lord apprentice is UK hopeful, Theresa May. An early frontrunner on account of her striking similarity to Sith Legend Emperor Palpatine, she made...

Donald Trump has set out plans to build a huge shopping centre on the Mexican border to increase bilateral trade between the two countries. Fulfilling an election pledge made to US voters that he would construct a mall as soon as he got into power, the new US president is expected to sign several executive orders to get construction under way immediately. Several Trump voters are said to be bemused with the decision to build a cross-border retail outlet, with some...

The Ministry of Truth have today put all speculation surrounding President Trump’s inauguration to rest, clearly and ably demonstrating that his attendance was 10 times that of his predecessor. The Ministry of Truth have circulated a memo fixing the misquotations of the previous days and have destroyed any conflicting memes, images and posts. Anyone seen to have liked, shared or colluded with the untrue information has committed a treasonable offence and will be cured of their insanity with electroshock therapy....

As Donald Trump takes over control of the most powerful nation on earth, the CIA have decided on a tactic to not give him the correct nuclear codes. Kevin Marshall, 52, head of the CIA, told his staff in a briefing yesterday: “Ok pretend you are on a terrible date and you never want to see them again, so in no way offer you them your phone number, if they ask just give them a random set of digits off...