Categories: Satire

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy updates Earth to “Fairly Harmful”

The most famous intergalactic guide in the Universe has released its new addition and updated earth to “fairly harmful.”

Toyota Corolla, the current journalist working on guide in this unfashionable arm of the Milky Way said: “I just popped in for an afternoon, as we didn’t expect these apes to have achieved much, and they haven’t, well unless you consider killing each other in new and innovative ways.

“The population of Zedron B are having the same problem, but they just play a game, to sort their problems out. Ok, they usually end up ripping each others’ limbs off during the competition, but it’s less savage that what I saw on Earth.

“I do see the irony though, a bird instead of a fish causing all the antagonism, clever, I rather liked that, maybe you apes are showing signs of intelligence after all.”

Marvin the depressed Paranoid Android said: “I used to hate this place, with its upbeat view on life and compassion for each other, but their new found hatred and insecurity really suits me. I’m staying, I couldn’t be more happier…well I mean depressed.”

Toyota Corolla added: “Panic”

Joe Mellor

Head of Content

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