Populism is a dirty word. It reeks of pseudo-fascism and middle-class intellectuals sneering at people who like Britain’s Got Talent.
But it is popularity that breeds success. Yes the first couple of Kings of Leon albums were the best but Sex on Fire fills dancefloors and arenas, whether you like it or not.
So to be successful you need to be liked, right? And who doesn’t like Danny Dyer? Could he be the person to lead us out of this madness we find ourselves in?
A working class bloke from East London, who was good mates with Harold Pinter and also liked mixing it up on Green Street with other lads in Aquascutum attire.
Don’t worry, I am not advocating football-related violence. It’s all posturing and aggressive pointing these days, no one ever throws a punch at matches anymore. It looks more like a bunch of very enthusiastic Ted talkers.
Twat
And there are few better talkers than Dyer, who infamously called David Cameron a twat on live telly a couple of years ago. He also called Oswald Mosley a ‘melt’ and said that the ‘Nazis deserve a good kicking.’
What’s not to like?
Now Dyer – who, lest we forget, is descended from royalty himself – has laid into the clique of born-to-rule Etonians that, he claims, have run this country into the ground.
“We must learn now that the people who went to Eton can’t run this country,” Dyer said. “They’ve done it, they’ve tried to do it and this small group who all went to the same school, in the same class – it doesn’t work.”
Boris Johnson was privately educated at Eton, as was Cameron. Several British cabinet members serving under the current and former Prime Ministers in the last decade have also attended fee-paying schools. As it ever was.
But why couldn’t a man like Dyer run this country? He is popular, and running the Queen Vic is no mean feat.
Farage-esque alcoholics
Does he have the wherewithal to deal with Brexit? Of course, any pub in the country (pandemic-permitting) will have a few functioning Farage-esque alcoholics spouting off their opinions on Brexit, immigration and the traffic on a near-by A road.
Dyer has been in the trenches, he can deal with these opinions with a cheeky smile, a saucy joke and one in the tap that will take their minds off their life-long bitterness to anything and everything – giving just enough time to cancel Article 50.
But what would the Eton mess make of this? Well, the old adage goes that the Tories are the natural party of Government – so by extension, elite public school boys are born to lead.
That may be the case, but they’ve done a truly awful job of it. Believing you can do something doesn’t mean you can actually do it. After watching Star Wars as a kid I truly believed I could move things with my mind. I started small with a can of Panda Pop (if you know, you know) and guess what, it didn’t move an inch.
Failing Grayling
From Brexit negotiations to Failing Grayling, to Cameron ‘chillaxing’ into a nation-destroying referendum, giving the private sector billions to fail to ensure we don’t die of Covid, starving poor kids (I could go on) the evidence points that the public school Oxbridge types have had their day. Lining your own pockets is picking ours.
It’s time for a change and if Danny is willing to throw down the Gauntlet, channeling the blood of ancestors, I will be standing right beside him, Stone Island jacket on, aggressively pointing at Toffs and discussing Pinter. I’m revolution ready, I’ll even wear a face mask while storming the corridors of power. Overthrowing the Government is fine, but it must be Covid secure. Guess that means I would need Boris Johnson in my bubble.
I wouldn’t even mind if he brought in celebrity daughter Danni to run PR for the campaign in a Trump-style, keeping it in the family vibe.
Because as he continually bawls in his epic performance in rave classic movie Human Traffic…Nice one Bruvvvvaaaaaaa!
Related: Dominic Cummings’ unpaid council tax bill could fund more than 23,000 free school meals