By Charlotte Hope – Celebrity Writer
Russell Brand v Sean Hannity
Russell Brand has never been known for his reticence when it comes to political issues so it should come as no surprise that he has some feelings about the current conflict going on in Gaza. Brand posted a 12 and a half minute video on July 29th as part of his YouTube ‘Trews’ series which, at time of writing, has garnered 12.5 million views. In it, he picks apart Fox News’ conservative journalist Sean Hannity. The video, features a ‘debate’ between an American Palestinean and an Israeli representative interspersed with Brand’s analysis. I’m not here to offer my own perspective, which I’m certain is in no way researched thoroughly enough, but I will say that Brand’s take on this aggressive television host is both funny and more engaging than Hannity’s arguments.
Not content with letting Brand have the last word, Hannity decided to respond with his next show. He must have been so excited! He began in an incendiary fashion by playing an intro song by Katy Perry, Russell’s ex-wife. He then shows out of context clips of Brand that fit into his character assassination. After that, he makes fun of Brand with a panel of three people who sporadically attack Brand’s character, under the guise of having more debates about Israel. In what is now being touted as ‘ROUND THREE’, Brand responds with his own panel: a Jesus doll, a bunch of flowers and a Mahatma Gandhi doll. A typically amusing response with serious undertones, Brand tries to bring the whole thing back to the actual issue rather than petulant name calling. Hannity might respond but as far as I’m concerned, I know who’s in the winning corner.
Holly Hagan
Holly from Geordie Shore has found a new and exciting way to upset us all: a remake of Kelis’ ‘Milkshake’ complete with a low-budget video. What a treat. I tried to avoid said video but sadly curiosity took over. It’s dreadful. It’s an ‘EDM’(inverted commas to promote my disdain for this acronym) remix of a song that needed no ‘EDM’ remix. Allegedly, Holly has been quoted as saying “I never thought I’d have the opportunity to be able to make my own music record, it’s like a dream come true.” Who’s going to say it? Go on. Alright, I will. This is absolutely not ‘your own’ music record. It’s a dreadful cover of an 11 year old song.
She does concede that it’s ‘unapologetically Clubland’, which sounds like the worst theme park possible. so I suppose we have to be impressed that she won’t apologise. Is that commendable? I just don’t even know anymore. I refuse to embed the thing here because I’d hate for it to accidentally get more views; seek it out at your own risk. I hope you like loads of lipstick and no dance moves.
Beyoncé
Beyoncé has, once again, released music nobody knew she was going to release. This time, instead of a mind-blowing fourteen track visual album, it’s a remix of one of the songs from her latest offering – ‘**Flawless’. This remix features an aggressive rap from Nicki Minaj and a heavily auto tuned demi-rap from Queen B herself. What makes this (arguably) news is not the fact that it was dropped online in the middle of the night with no warning but the content of Beyoncé’s rap. Are we all aware of ‘elevatorgate’? Yes? Of course we are. Don’t pretend not to be. You might be less aware of Team Beyoncé’s flaccid statement released after the whole affair stating that Solange and Jay Z ‘have apologized to each other and we have moved forward as a united family’. We can all agree that told us absolutely nothing. I’m holding out for someone secretly having audio of what went on in that lift or we’re just never going to find out.
Naturally, Beyoncé has referenced the incident the recent remix, rapping ‘Of course sometimes shit go down/when it’s a billion dollars on an elevator’. I can just imagine them writing it, in their underground cave lit by a million candles, smiling to each other as they realised that once again the world would go insane and analyse their every movement. Well congratulations, Knowles-Carters, it worked. Also, interestingly, it tells us absolutely nothing once again except perhaps that their joint wealth is more than some entire nations.