The Class of 92 have made a joint statement to the press following the Unicef charity game apologising to the current squad for making scoring goals and creating chances look easy in front of a full Old Trafford crowd.
Coy Paul Scholes said: “It was too easy, Becks put a cross over and I headed it in, it was simple. I even shut my eyes when the ball came over and it just ended up in the net. Even when I tried not to score, I did, I couldn’t help it.”
The 40-year-old, who sprayed passes around the pitch, hit the crossbar and scored a goal went on to say: “I saw the tears in the eyes of the fans, it was like watching videos of a recently deceased pet; They couldn’t handle it.”
Ryan Giggs courageously held out an olive branch to the current squad and said: “We will lend them some of our Salford City strikers if they want; it is always good to help struggling sides in Manchester. I mentioned our tricky left winger to Louis but he claimed he didn’t want any troublesome players with a political allegiance, I’m really not sure he got it.”
Man Utd supporter Les, 45 from Eccles said “I couldn’t fucking believe my eyes, Phil Neville made Juan Mata look like Phil Neville.”