By Sara Davison – life and divorce coach
Some of us fall out of love slowly and over time, some of us meet a new partner and for others our break up comes as a complete shock and totally out of the blue. Whatever the situation there are always warning signs along the way that our marriage is on the rocks. We need to take our head out of the sand and remove the rose tinted glasses and stop coasting along in our relationships if we want to save our marriage in time.
It is astonishing how differently we treat our careers compared to our relationships. We spend hours and hours each day working hard at our chosen jobs and going the extra mile to get a better result. However how many of us can say we put the same effort into our relationship? Why is it that we assume that our love life will figure itself out on its own and should work with minimum maintenance and focus, whereas we wouldn’t dream of applying the same concept to our career?
Divorce rates in Britain are the highest in Europe at 42%. To prevent becoming one of these statistics you need to be able to spot the warning signs if you are to keep your marriage on track.
The top 10 signs that you are heading for divorce are:
- You stop communicating with your partner
- You feel resentment towards your partner and are not willing to resolve it
- You are no longer physically attracted to them
- You prefer it when your partner is out for the evening
- Most things they do irritate you
- You have romantic feelings for someone other than your partner
- You have no trust in your relationship
- You want fundamentally different things from life
- You spend a lot of time thinking about what your life would be like without them
- If making your partner happy is more of a chore than a joy
If you have are experiencing any of the above in your marriage then you need to STOP and FOCUS on your relationship. If you leave one of these unresolved then it could become and even bigger issue in the future. These problems need to be addressed right away. Here are a five ways you can do this:
– Talk to your partner. Create a loving environment so that you can have an open and honest discussion with your partner without alienating them. Calm communication is key to resolving your issues.
– Take responsibility and avoid playing the blame game. You need to work together to make the relationship work.
– Look at the big picture and your long term goals. Avoid getting caught up in details that don’t really matter.
– Plan to spend some quality time together having fun and doing something you both enjoy
– Get professional advice from an expert – Divorce should be your very last resort as it is a traumatic process for all involved however appealing an escape route it may seem at times.
If you look out for the warning signs along the way you can respond to them if and when they arise. You do need to work at relationships and treat them with respect. There will always be bumps along the way in any marriage and they often make it stronger. Be more aware and present and you will make better decisions for you and your family.
For more information visit www.saradavison.com or follow her on twitter @SDDivorcecoach