How often has this happened to you… You’ve prepared well for an important work meeting, presentation or job interview, yet in the moment, you lose flow, your train of thought goes, and effectively, you freeze.
Though the psychological concepts of fight or flight are well known, the responses of freeze and fawn are less so, despite them also being automatic defence triggers.
Fawning is a familiar term for most, and when you fawn, you defer to being agreeable and helpful. Whereas when you freeze, your mind goes blank, you may experience a heightened pounding of the heart, and a pervading sense of dread.
When we panic, stress hormones flood our frontal lobes, which are responsible for higher-level executive functions.
How to defreeze
In a recent interview, career coach Francesca O’Connor of social learning practice Good Shout, offers a four-step strategy to counter this; the BRAG method.
In moments of mental freeze, remind yourself of this easy-to-remember acronym.
Breathe
Short, shallow breaths send a message to the brain that we are in a high-stress situation. Focus on slowing down your breathing; take deep breaths and send a message to your sympathetic nervous system that you’re safe.
This will help counter a flight or fight response. Secondly, exhaling slowly will further your ability to relax.
Reframe
O’Connor points to the book Fear Hack by Hilary Gallo in helping clients reframe threats into something more positive. “He says that the symptoms of being scared or threatened – racing pulse, breath speeding up and shaking – are the same symptoms we get when we feel excited.”
So tell yourself you’re excited, not nervous, which is probably true as you’re often on the precipice of an exciting work opportunity when a freeze does strike.
Alter ego
We all admire people who handle stressful situations with ease. For some, this can be a fictional superhero, and for others a respected colleague or an impressive friend. In a moment of freeze, think of how they would handle this situation and embody their actions and confidence.
Know that particularly in job interview situations, hiring managers are more often looking for how you think, rather than what you know. So a momentary freeze, before a more-confident alter ego steps up to the plate and takes over, is perfectly fine.
Gratitude
Once caught in a freeze moment, you can buy yourself some time by expressing gratitude, O’Connor says. “For example, try saying, ‘Thanks for challenging me with that question, I hadn’t thought about it that way’ or, ‘That’s a really great question, and one that is important to me.’”
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