Jamie Michael Gregory’s remarkable debut book The Talking Universe is a potent combination of autobiography, spiritual discovery, and self-development … and a must-read for all those seeking to understand the purpose of healing in their own life.
The modern-day equivalent of Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist, The Talking Universe deals with challenging themes that have had a profound impact on his life – mental health, trauma, addiction, and abuse – while simultaneously looking at how failures in current social systems detrimentally affect the collective wellbeing of society.
As a deeply harrowing yet incredibly uplifting autobiography that will take its place among the classics of self-help literature, the book conveys his hard-earned thoughts and guidance on these timely topics through simultaneously sharing his life story.
In vivid language, Jamie, now 37, reveals the barbaric foundations of his trauma, imprinted through a father who abused him physically, mentally, and emotionally, while sucking him in from an early, impressionable age into his sordid life of vice and crime.
It is certainly not for the faint-hearted and I was pained to read about the tragic neglect that the author experienced, but this full declaration of injuries received, and wrongs committed as a consequence, keeps you hanging on his every word, if only with the hope that the pressure will be released.
It’s the sort of life story that, in the retelling, should come with a trigger warning. There is disturbing child abuse and violence, beatings with wood and a particularly disturbing incident where Jamie’s face is smeared in cat faeces.
It’s no surprise that the staggering cruelty led to deep-rooted issues and confusion within his young mind, conjuring demons that would continue to plague him throughout his early adulthood.
As Jamie, an expert on trauma, puts it, these negative incidents caused early damage to his frontal cortex – or processing part of the brain – which left him emotionally withdrawn, detached, and desperately trying to seek healing from external sources.
At first, this ‘inversion’ of healing, mistakenly looking to the outside world for some soothing balm for his problems, came in the form of drug dependence.
Yet as he reached his late 20s, he was able to seemingly land on his feet through working extremely hard, finding himself running not one but two profitable businesses, which brought with it a luxury lifestyle.
Sadly, with his inner trauma unresolved and festering within, his new-found wealth only offered a distraction by creating a temporary fix over his unresolved trauma, and this then led him into new temptations that, compromised as he was, he was unable to recognise as danger signs until already fully immersed.
In his late 20s, he reached his lowest ebb, and all those years of emotional damage caused him to attempt suicide, as he explains in his book.
Yet, faced with his own dark night of the soul, he eventually began to see a path which would become his purpose. He then began a long, and incredible, journey that led to self-healing, self-acceptance and, ultimately, self-love.
The second half of The Talking Universe details this astonishing and uplifting story of his spiritual awakening, and by so doing provides the tools and framework for readers to understand and follow in the author’s footsteps.
The key takeaway is that transformation and healing only begin to happen when you have a conscious intention to want better from life, surrender to the current circumstances and emotions and foster acceptance of the past, present, and where you are now at in life.
Of course, it’s not that simple. There is a lot of push-and-pull resistance along the path which is also not linear, as the author points out.
It is this – rather than running from or burying pain as the majority of society do unconsciously, including Jamie for many years – when we embrace the darkness within and understand that it is part of who we are, only then, says the author, can a person begin the journey of transforming.
As a fan of Buddhist psychology myself, I resonated with much of what is in this book – that it is essential to understand and confront pain and failure, and that this path too offers a chance to learn and evolve.
But I also loved the way The Talking Universe – the first of three connected books planned by the author – was constructed.
His story is both raw and scientific at the same time, exploring the intricacies of psychology and how the brain works, as well as providing research into why so much trauma and detachment occurs in society, and how the norms of contemporary life such as social media, pharmaceutical interventions, and social stigmas, are only fuelling this.
And it is also light and dark, drawing on the horrors of Jamie’s youth but contrasting them with the hope of eventually being brought back together through natural means.
The book is an extraordinary accomplishment, showing great intelligence and wisdom with the promise, unlike many self-help books, of revealing a realistic expectation of life and what we can all achieve.
For anyone who wants to understand themselves with more clarity, heal past trauma and begin to live a life free of pain, I cannot recommend this book enough.
The Talking Universe by Jamie Michael Gregory is out now in paperback, hardcover, eBook, and audiobook formats, priced £9.99, £14.99, £3.99, and £6.99 respectively. For more information, visit www.jamiemichaelgregory.com or follow Jamie at @Jamiemichaelgregory on Instagram and TikTok.
By sharing his astonishing journey from trauma to success, author Jamie Michael Gregory brings invaluable help and hope to others suffering and in pain. We spoke to him to find out more about his new book, The Talking Universe, about his views on mental health and trauma, and on different aspects essential to self-healing.
Q. One of the key messages of The Talking Universe is that life is governed by duality. Can you explain what you mean by this, and why understanding this is vital to healing?
A. Everything created in this existence has duality and both opposing values are crucial to each other. Too much of one thing can be harmful for us. So, if we relate that to life in general, too much love can suffocate us and too much light can blind us from the truth. Love and light have a place on each of our journeys, but if these brighter, more appealing qualities are empathised to the degree that involves repression of the darkness, and resistance to the harder aspects of inner exploration, then we begin to create an imbalance within ourselves.
Q. Why can ancestral trauma be so devastating if not resolved?
A. I have listed a quote from The Talking Universe below:
Emotional and physical child abuse inflicted on children by their guardians is a learned pattern of behaviour that consists of ancestral debt passed down from the previous generation. The person who is then prepared to break this continuous cycle and remove the poison from within will not only save themselves, but they will also protect and preserve the next generation in line.
—Jamie Gregory
Q. What is the best approach or therapy to opt for to resolve trauma?
A. Again, I will relate back to The Talking Universe and a quote in chapter 10:
“The first rule of any trauma therapy is safety.” (Herman, 1992)
Judith Herman is the author of two award-winning books.
When I was younger, I attended therapy but I found it difficult to build trust with the therapist. This resulted in me feeling like I was being attacked so I decided to not go back, and I did not have any therapy for a further 12 years. A connection must be formed and that can only be done through trust.
Q. You explain in The Talking Universe how many people try to deflect from their trauma by seeking external validation. What do you mean by this, and why is it the wrong approach?
A. Again I will relate to a paragraph from The Talking Universe:
Each soul is completely whole, undivided, and can never be destroyed. Instead, it is our psyches or psychological egos that become fragmented, so when a part of our conscious self goes into hiding, it creates a blockage in the subconscious mind, and we refer to this as soul loss because we lose connection to our souls. In other words, it can be a psychological trauma that prevents us from fully opening ourselves to the soul and its sacred source of power, strength, and love. Unfortunately, these days soul loss is the rule rather than the exception. As individuals, we lose our soulful energy every time we identify with our ego, and we seek to feel whole again through various addictions and external validation. Self-love is a direct path of communion with the soul, and solitude is a direct pathway to your own inner world. Solitude, if used correctly, can give insight, perspective and reinstate harmony in your life. The result of not practising self-love is depression, bitterness, and resentment.
Q. How big a part does trauma play in people turning to negative life choices such as crime and addiction?
A. Massively, I will quote a paragraph from chapter two of The Talking Universe:
Due to the pain I experienced growing up, a barrier had been created and I did not know how to connect with my inner self. This was never taught or explained to me. Children in similar situations by the time they reach adulthood are then cast out, and many end up being incarcerated due to the problems they have been unable to manage. This then creates further pain and suffering as people are placed into cages as we would do with rats, gerbils, and hamsters. They are then no longer accepted in society, so is it any wonder why these people become even more disillusioned with life and more susceptible to re-offend or to resort back to the only means they have had at their disposal to relieve their pain, such as their coping strategies, which have helped them to survive by numbing the unbearable pain in the first instance?!
Q. How do you think society as a whole is failing victims of trauma?
A. Massively. The more I look into the devastating after-effects of trauma, the more I can see that our schools, doctors, hospitals, the police, the courts, and many other government establishments that are supposed to help us citizens are, in fact, doing the complete opposite. Unfortunately, a lot of life is an inversion, and changes cannot be made until humanity awakens from this unconsciousness. For us as a society to move forward, everything will need to be integrated and connected to see a fundamental change instead of each establishment being treated discretely with its own rules, own language, and own methods and structures, which have no correlation.
Q. How would you like to see the education system reformed so that children who experience trauma such as you did can access help earlier?
A. In my opinion, subjects that should be taught as a priority are the importance of self-love, how to connect to your heart, and how embracing solitude can direct you into your inner world. Mental health and addiction should also be introduced and explained with depth and clarity. Lastly, children need to understand and relate to the world they will be entering, so learning life skills such as basic cooking, ironing, and how to pay a direct debit, for example, should all be taught.
Q. You are a keen advocate of meditation. What type of meditation do you practice and why do you recommend it to others?
A. Mindful meditation gives you the strength to pull your mind back when it tries to travel off in another direction, and after a while this ability begins to show itself in everyday life and not just through meditation. Psychologists refer to this as ‘trait mindfulness’, and there is evidence that links mindfulness to self-control as well as numerous other measures of health and happiness. Various brain-imaging studies suggest that mindfulness practices are associated with the amygdala part of the brain. The amygdala reacts to threats by generating emotion. Mindfulness practices appear to calm down that specific area, so they can assist in reducing fear, panic, and anxiety. Through meditation, you can discipline your mind, integrate higher functioning capabilities, rationalise situations better, and stop instinctual reactions. An important aspect of meditation is breathing. The brain makes up two per cent of our body, but it uses 25 per cent of our entire oxygen intake, and our brain needs to breathe, especially during meditation because we want to direct fresh oxygen to the brain.
Q. What do you hope readers will gain most from reading The Talking Universe?
A. A blueprint which they can use in their own life to create a foundation point to move forward from, by beginning the process of healing. An understanding of how important acceptance, surrendering, and having a conscious intent to want to change are. All the above will bring a prosperous future for every individual seeking help – that’s one thing I can guarantee! We do not always need to know the path, but by trusting in something greater than ourselves, a person will begin to see drastic changes in their own life, just as I did.
Q. What are trauma bonds, and how do you break free from them?
A. Again I will relate to a chapter in The Talking Universe:
Without boundaries, I became emotionally attached to destructive individuals who would violate me, and this is what we call a trauma bond. What I can now see is the most prominent addiction I had in my life was not the drugs or alcohol I took. Instead, it was my emotional addiction which I was repeating time and time again. The more we think about something, the more we are likely to believe it and the more it is likely to manifest in our lives. These practised thoughts became my reality, and these conditioned patterns of physiological dysregulation meant that I had to reconstruct myself to change my deep-rooted beliefs. When a belief is instilled and consistently validated, it becomes a core belief. Core beliefs are our deepest perceptions about our identity, and they are installed into the subconscious mind when we are children.
So, for me I had to have hypnotherapy to start the process of making my unconscious mind conscious. Only at this point could I start transforming through push-and-pull resistance. Again, this process is not linear and it takes time and patience to see long-lasting changes.
