Rightly or wrongly, society continues to hold a fascination with the Casanovas of this world; those who have proven so successful in love that Cupid’s bow breaks through overuse.
But what about the flip side? Those who don’t continually strike it lucky in the dating game? Where are their stories?
Enter Coward of Love, a candid memoir that takes readers on an honest and heartfelt journey through debut author Cooper Canon’s many romantic struggles.
This deeply personal and sensitive ‘warts and all’ account of bad romance is divided into seven sections, all themed around the author’s perpetual pain of being unable to form lasting or meaningful romantic relationships.
At the root of his problem is his crippling shyness and inability to talk the talk or walk the walk when it comes to the opposite sex.
While he sees his friends hook up, he remains alone, perplexed and peeved in equal measure; especially when the Jack the Lad variety of blokes continue to attract the ladies while treating them as little more than trophies for the prize cabinet.
In the first chapter, we learn where this social handicap may have originated, with Cooper stating that he lacked the benefit of guidance on amatory affairs from his parents, who never even got to the point of discussing the birds and the bees.
So Cooper felt adrift and clueless on how to proceed, meaning that he was always firmly in front of the bike shed at high school, and by the time university rolled by, was still stuck in the early adolescent phase of unrequited puppy love.
He notes that his alternative lifestyle, with his long hair, taste in heavy metal and a deep appreciation of The Lord of the Rings, did him no favours in a shallow youth culture where conformity is expected.
So by the time he has reached his late twenties, he is still a virgin, and by circumstance rather than choice.
While his mates have many happy memories, he has a shelf-full of broken hearts and having had enough, decides to find an alternative solution.
Feeling the weight of his celibacy, he takes advantage of a stag do in Amsterdam to explore the city’s red-light district, encouraged by a friend.
Here, he finds solace for a set fee, and it quickly becomes a habit when back home, a way to fulfil his needs while avoiding the vicious cycle of rejection or emotional hurt.
It should be stressed that Cooper is not proud of the path he took and makes it clear that it was desperation alone that led him down it.
However, these fleeting encounters only deepen his desire for a genuine relationship.
Now in his early thirties, Cooper’s local pub is his main hub for hooking up, where the pretty barmaids catch his eye.
Yet his attempts to set up dates still come to naught. While he is likeable enough, those he approaches agree to meet up only on the condition that it’s just as friends.
He recalls one in particular with these terms where, after the fact, he finds out that his date had actually hoped to go further, and chides him for not taking the initiative when he had the chance.
This leaves him even more nonplussed and down, and he makes a good point about the need for more transparency in dating, so that neither party comes away disappointed.
When the pandemic descends in 2020, quickly followed by lockdown, he redirects his energy to getting fit, joining an online class run by a female friend.
She’s just come out of a relationship and so Cooper, now seeing her in a different way, tests the ground via text messages, thereby removing the pressure of asking her out in person.
To his delight, she seems keen and over the coming weeks they develop a relationship by long distance relationship which results in an intimate and unforgettable night together when restrictions finally ease.
Encouraged, Cooper is as thoughtful and considerate a boyfriend as one could ask for, sending his love Christmas and Valentine’s gifts.
Yet she has clearly been in the rebound from her last boyfriend and she soon pulls the rug on their relationship, citing the state of her mental health, leaving Cooper distraught and back to the starting line.
In the final chapter, ‘Hope,’ the author strikes up a promising friendship with a woman he meets at a local band night.
Their chemistry is evident, and shared activities build anticipation for something deeper.
Their first official date takes place amidst the lights and buzz of London and the book closes on a positive note, with Cooper feeling a rare sense of ease and connection as they stroll arm in arm together.
Although the outcome remains uncertain for the reader, this encounter marks a significant shift for Cooper, with him declaring that this ray of sunshine has saved his life.
So lifted by the experience, which brings renewed optimism for the future, he immortalises her name with a tattoo.
In the wrong hands, Coward of Love could have come across as a self-pitying misery memoir of missed opportunities and bitter disappointments.
While it is true that the author’s love life leaves lots to be desired, quite literally, his keen sense of humour lightens the mood and keeps things moving along briskly.
Aware of his own mistakes, which he has had the courage to document – in public – Cooper’s story will no doubt bring hope to those like him who have lost more than won in the romance league table.
And for female readers, it also provides a rare insight into the male mindset and one that is devoid of bragging or machismo, offering a refreshing perspective on romance from a non-alpha standpoint.
In essence, Coward of Love offers a rare glimpse into the psyche of someone navigating romance from a place of vulnerability, appealing to readers interested in a different perspective on love and relationships.
Coward of Love by Cooper Canon is out now on Amazon, priced £9.99 in paperback and £2.99 as an eBook. For more information, visit www.cowardoflove.com.
In this exclusive extract from Coward of Love by Cooper Canon, the author share a rare romantic success.
Enter chance.
This was never intended whatsoever.
During the covid outbreak of 2020 I stopped drinking and focused on my health.
A friend had had a career change and started offering online fitness classes.
It was thanks to these classes that the unexpected happened.
In the beginning it was nothing more than two people of a wider group doing the classes.
It did not, however, stay that way, which I am very thankful and grateful for.
For better or worse it transpired that she had split up from her long term partner. A fact I paid no heed to for the longest time.
However old habits die hard and it was curiosity that killed the cat.
We built up a friendship and began messaging each other; we seemed to get on quite well. Eventually, I succumbed to previous form, though.
I became interested in the possibility of more than just friendship, and it seemed that she did, too. To a point.
So I made the fateful move and asked if she would like to meet for drinks.
She said yes, but was quick to stress it was as friends, which I was cool with.
Then the time came.
We decided we would meet kind of halfway from where we each lived.
I arrived first and found our intended meeting place closed. An auspicious start!
Without too much trouble I found an alternative and promptly let her know of the change. Then the wait began.
I cannot stress how incredibly nervous I was. We were meeting as friends but this was way out of my comfort zone.
Then she walked in, looking radiant and wearing a black dress, which I found odd, having only seen her in gym gear on a screen before.
We ordered some drinks and so began our night out as friends…
Conversation flowed rather easily, which was a relief to me as this was a situation I felt far from comfortable in.
It felt like we already knew each other in some respects from the online classes and weren’t starting from scratch. Which made life easier. Over the course of the evening our legs touched an inordinate amount; it must be said, I don’t believe I initiated this either.
Feeling buoyed up by the heady mixture of alcohol and an attractive woman, who was actually engaging in conversation with me, I ordered a bottle of champagne for us to share.
A bold move indeed, although it seemed appreciated. I finally realised this was going better than I could have wished.
In a break from each other’s company, one of the waiters asked if we were on a first date.
I stuck rigidly to our agreed script and said no, we were just friends.
He then said that was a shame as we’d make a nice couple. I smiled and laughed it off.
Closing time came and we were unceremoniously told we had to leave.
Armed with our bottle of champagne we took to the streets.
It was during our street drinking that she extended an invitation back to her place.
We finished the champagne and stocked up with as much Pink Hooch as we could carry between us.
A short taxi ride and I was in a most pleasant situation.
Back at hers we continued our drinking, ploughing through the hooch and still the touching of legs continued.
It became apparent I’d be staying the night and we made a joke that we should do the online class the next morning and see if anything was said.
More pressing matters were at hand, however.
She suggested that we should go upstairs, to which I agreed, although I was still under the impression that I would be sleeping in the spare room.
This assumption was quickly proven incorrect and I was told which was her bedroom.
I promptly followed her directions.
Quite how we’d got to this I’m not sure.
