Remain voters are feeling particularly smug at the sight of Nigel Farage addressing 15,000 activists at a Trump rally in Jackson, Mississippi. Keith Sylvester, a disgruntled remain voter, still unable to get over the injustice of the referendum said: “This is gold dust. Everyone in this country knows what a...
A man who approached a woman on a beach and brandished a weapon was arrested. The unnamed woman was minding her own business on the beach, but was not stripped down to a bikini, which caused the man a great deal of distress. He grabbed his gun, pepper spray and...
The family who got upgraded to First Class so Jeremy Corbyn could get a seat have said they would never go back to poverty class and now going to vote for the Conservatives. The Shepton family had never been in first class before until a helpful trainguard upgraded them so...
32-year-old old Stephen Wilson, from the accounts department, is already planning this year’s xmas party, and he is literally counting the seconds until it starts. Stephen, who spends 364 evenings of the year at home, has already sent the e-mail invite list and is demanding a reply by Wednesday 23rd...
Owen Smith left the BBC studio contest against Jeremy Corbyn today and thought it had gone well, until he spoke to his team. Smith said to his campaigners: “It wasn’t like I offered to do the job or anything, I never said I had experience negotiating with other terrorist groups…oh...
Jason Kenny only won his sixth gold medal to hit the right speed to go back in time and stop Brexit. Kenny said: “I was sick of winning gold medals, but I needed the last chance to go back in time and stop Brexit; this final gave me the chance...
A man who claims he could have won Olympic gold for Great Britain, but “typical bloody immigrant” Mo Farah nicked the job. Graham Pickering, 47 who literally hates everyone who isn’t white, British and from the same village as him has demanded everyone slightly foreign has to leave the UK,...
A man who literally couldn’t deal with the story that the EU was going to enforce the straitening of bananas, so punched himself repeatedly in the face until he was unconscious, has said he won't let project fear scare him over over predictions of a meltdown in the UK economy....
A group of sharks believed to be around 400 years old have been discovered off the coast of Greenland. The Greenland sharks can be found swimming very slowly in front of other fish, can get easily confused and are known to wake at 6am every morning. ‘Look I’m sorry to...