A clear and present danger has just appeared in the UK and could destroy the world. A madman has asked for £205bn of our money to spend on the things we really need. Politicians’ have demanded that the death penalty is brought back to silence this psychopath who can only...
A man who took a decision for everybody else, then realised it was probably the worst idea ever, jumped ship and left the passengers heading for certain doom. Even he didn’t originally expect to be given control of the ship, so steered wildly tossing passengers overboard without life rafts. Rightly...
Entrepreneur and eraser enthusiast Niall Globstone, 45 of Bexleyheath, has made a killing today. He realised early doors that every polling station was actually ran by MI5 who are desperate for the UK to remain part of the EU. Cheeky Niall has gone from polling station to polling station, selling...
Most intellectuals and averagely smart people have been thinking it for a while now, but finally a study has been released confirming ‘mainly stupid’ people will vote for UK to leave the EU. The study shows that those with low academic attainment, Daily Mail and Sun newspaper readers, Northerners, Monster Energy...
2-in-1 devices (aka a tablet with the power of a laptop) are showing no signs of slowing down in popularity. The main benefit to a 2-in-1 device is the ability to use a powerful business operating system, and still be contained within something that has a similar weight to a...
As shoddily built schools were closed in Scotland, it meant the only citizens who have ever benefited from PFI were children, getting a few days off. However, they knew this day would come. They had prophesised these free days off school, in fables about this momentous occasion, handed down from...
By Oli Ward @oli_ward_1 Obama arrived in Havana on Sunday for the beginning of historic talks with Cuban President Raul Castro. One issue certain to be on the discussion table will be the territorial handover of Guantanamo Bay, the correctional U.S. facility on the South-East of the island. While the U.S...
The most crucial decision this year is upon us all, should we remain 'in' or 'out' of our winter coats. The country is split, and the decision can be make or break your plans for the future. Conflicted John Stones, 38 from Ebbsfleet said: 'I did a poll of my...
Rafa Benitez, the only manager in history to have won the UEFA Cup, UEFA Super Cup, UEFA Champions League and FIFA Club World Cup has signalled an alien invasion that will end humanity, after signing for Newcastle United. The part-time football manager and full-time lizard king from Zakiza C in...